In Praise Of the Semicolon; It’s About Time.
February 19th, 2008, 12:32 AM EST
And in, of all places, the New York City subways.
“Please put it in a trash can,” riders are reminded. After which Neil Neches, an erudite writer in the transit agency’s marketing and service information department, inserted a semicolon. The rest of the sentence reads, “that’s good news for everyone.”
Semicolon sightings in the city are unusual, period, much less in exhortations drafted by committees of civil servants. In literature and journalism, not to mention in advertising, the semicolon has been largely jettisoned as a pretentious anachronism.
And don’t even get me started on apostrophes; their misuse is maddening.
Announcing a new gender neutral pronoun!
The proposal: Combine the English pronouns She, He, and It into one
inclusive politically correct universal pronoun as follows:
She
he
it….. S/h/it!
So instead of “He went to the market”
or “She went to the market”. S/h/it would say,
“S/h/it went to the market!”
This pronoun may also be used with the definite article and as objects of
sentences. For example:
“How are all the little boys and girls?” could be rendered:
“How are all the little s/h/its?”
This pronoun could also be used in place of the terms man or woman or
wonmyn as in the following example:
“Rush is a big man!” could be rendered:
“Rush is a big S/h/it!”
The possibilities are endless!
February 19th, 2008 at 12:46 am
I like that! Excellent idea!
It would take a great man to fill the shoes of someone like George Bush.
It would take a great s/h/it to fill the shoes of someone like George Bush.
Thank you!
February 19th, 2008 at 1:30 am
Alan’ what do you mean’ they;re misused ‘?’ That’s’ just; crazy..’.
February 19th, 2008 at 6:11 am
Alan, huh?
February 19th, 2008 at 11:26 am
“Please put it in a trash can; that’s good news for everyone.”
“Put your shit where it belongs–in a garbage can, dumbass!”
Me, I like em dashes.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Alan Colmes is a reactionary; he likes semicolons.
February 19th, 2008 at 11:07 pm