It really did bring a tear to my eye. Tonight marks the final Hannity and Colmes, and I’m so grateful for how Wonkette, dispensing with its usual snark, paid me this elegant tribute:
After centuries of entrapment in a vaguely humanoid husk, the alien mutant Alan Colmes was finally permitted to slither out through a nostril and return to the elvin sewers from which he was fished so long ago.
WILL the Rev Al Sharpton (spirt-led) Pie Bachmann -in-the-Face OR Hanratty tonight?
9PM ET. Faux News.
I say Bachmann.
Don’t forget your drinking game. Final Version #4.
Take a drink every time Michele Bachmann
-Lies
-Leers at camera while smiling insanely
-Interrupts anyone
Drink up if Bachmann says:
-she is a foster mother of 26
-she is a federal tax litigation attorney
-Journalists need to investigate Congress Commies
-She never said the above
-She mentions husband Marcus the de-Gayer
-is focused like a laser beam
-Chris Matthews put words in her mouth
Alan,
I’m writing from Australia. I love your radio show, which I download daily as a podcast, and I love your work! I love the way you seek the truth on issues, and you challenge the conventional right wing conservative positions. You are a wonderful interviewer, and I will miss you from the H&C show. The world needs people like you top maintain balance, and you will be sorely missed.
I just hope and pray that you will continue to do radio, and that the podcasts will continue to be made available to people like me on the otherside of the world who want to see the good and decent and funny and humane side of American culture!
Cheers, Alan. You are a wonderful human being and I applaud you!!!
Terry.
Alan, You will be missed. I am sad and sorry to see you leave. Without you balancing out Sean’s point of view, I doubt I’ll be able to tune in anymore. Not just that, you are a wonderful, witty person. You are the reason after awhile I even tuned into the show but the more and more Sean ranted about liberals and other things, truthfully the less I watched…I do not consider myself a “liberal” and hadn’t been but these past eight years have changed my mind. Now that you are gone, I really don’t have much interest to watch the program anymore. God bless and Best wishes to you in your present and future endeavors. I hope we’ll be seeing you again!!!!!! Believe me, you’ll be missed tremendously.
Mr Colmes, My family and I hardly agree with you on any political issue. Despite that, however, we are deeply saddened to see you leave HANNITY AND COLMES. You are a nice, decent guy, Mr Colmes; and for that, we can only wish you well. Pleased to hear you’re staying on with FOX. Many, many blessings to you. :)
So much for fair & balanced ? sharpton hasnt been known for whats best for everyone.
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That was inspired. Those Wonkette editors are always so eloquent.
“Free at last, free at last, thank godalmighty Alan’s free at last!!!”
January 9th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Five and a half years Alan!!!
January 9th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Elves don’t live in sewers!
Swim free Mr. Colmes swim free.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Hah! That really was a sweet thing for them to say, eh?
On to bigger and better things, congrats Alan! I will be looking forward to your upcoming work, and glad that I won’t have to suffer through Mr. ‘Journalism is dead’ and ‘I have an escalade’ in order to watch you!
January 9th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Ya but you’re laughing all the way to the bank I’m sure.
Good Luck.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Don’t forget I LOV YA !!
January 9th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Too bad you’ll be missing the ultimate x-factor, Meatloaf! Maybe he’ll belt one out for Bachmann.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Alan, call it sympathy, empathy, er whatever… but we have no choice but to sympathize with you. I mean you dealt with Hannity for 5 AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN.
I speak for all of us when I say that’s a sacrifice few would or could make.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Welcome back to the real world Alan, if that’s you real name. Tell us something nasty about Hannity please.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
You never answered me in the Burris thread. Does Hannity really smell like sour baby formula and sulfur? He almost has to, I mean just look at him, but it would be nice to get confirmation.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Enjoy the return to your true Elven form, Alan. Dunno how you survived so long at Fox. Five and a half years is a long, long time.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Spoken with class. But then again you must have skin thicker than a whale omelette after being on Fox news for all those years.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Alan: Please get a show on MSNBC!
January 9th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
What Gopherit said.
And is Hannity a toe-tapper? Be honest.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Like the female praying mantis, Wonkette always hurts the one it loves.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I really enjoyed Hannity & Colmes because you were on the show. Too bad that you are leaving and it will be just Hannity. It has been reported that you are doing a show on your own. I will definitely watch. It is not fair how some liberals and those on the far right have trashed you. It is great that you can have a sense of humor about it though.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Hey, I thought one of the coolest things Alan has ever done is playing along well with Colbert.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
So you’ll have all kinds of time to follow Hannity’s Freedom Rock tour this Summer. That’s cool.
By the way…How many babies does Sean have for breakfast again?
January 9th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Congrats on your escape, Alan. We were afraid Stockholm Syndrome had kicked in.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Haha! It’s like a wonkette class reunion!
Oh, Alan, you know not what you have wrought, acknowledging this merry band of reprobates.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
It’s like a wonkette class reunion!
True, and much like a class reunion, we’re mingling in a place where I feel uncomfortable talking about buttsecks.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I heard you ditched Fox for your new gig as the host of John Ziegler viral videos. True?
January 9th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
“True, and much like a class reunion, we’re mingling in a place where I feel uncomfortable talking about buttsecks.”
Well, buttsecks can be uncomfortable… But seeing as this is a wonkette class reunion…wanna hook up?
January 9th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you misogynist Hillary hater. I hate you because you’re associated with wonktards which I hate so bad. Did i mention I hate everything? I hate my waistband because it’s so tight. I hate my Hungryman meal because it’s only 2 pounds of food. I HATE husky mexicans and pinches.
;)
January 9th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
wanna hook up?
Sure, my van is in the parking lot, along with my stash of boxed wine.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
throw in a bag of chips and box of whoppers and I’m in.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Honey, we can have a box of Whoppers with extra cheese on me! Or you can have the cheese on the burgers, whichever.
January 9th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Thanks Alan. Pay no attention to these feeble-minded pranksters, they’re not actually using your blog as a hookup spot. You’ve been fantastic. I look forward to seeing what the next Five And A Half Years bring you.
I’m truly touched that you would visit our humble Wonkette. We are merely Jesters traipsing through your hallowed halls.
January 9th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Congratulations on shedding the husk of FOX, Mr. Colmes. May the voting might of Wonkette win you many internet awards in the future.
PS Please dish on Hannity ASAP.
January 9th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
they’re not actually using your blog as a hookup spot.
Sure we are. We just aren’t doing the actual making-out here because Alan wouldn’t want to see that. (Would he?)
January 9th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
IZ ON YER BLOG – MAKIN A MESS
January 9th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Elves would never be so prosaic as to construct anything like sewers.
January 9th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Good luck Alan Colmes. I’m never on your side on the show but do wish you well. There is still a place for your voice on the issues whether I agree or not.
January 9th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Love connections on Liberaland? Really?
Is that the only way some of these hate-filled types can get any?
Tsk, naughty me!!
January 10th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
So much for fair & balanced ? sharpton hasnt been known for whats best for everyone.
January 11th, 2009 at 12:16 am
Mr Colmes, My family and I hardly agree with you on any political issue. Despite that, however, we are deeply saddened to see you leave HANNITY AND COLMES. You are a nice, decent guy, Mr Colmes; and for that, we can only wish you well. Pleased to hear you’re staying on with FOX. Many, many blessings to you. :)
January 11th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Alan, You will be missed. I am sad and sorry to see you leave. Without you balancing out Sean’s point of view, I doubt I’ll be able to tune in anymore. Not just that, you are a wonderful, witty person. You are the reason after awhile I even tuned into the show but the more and more Sean ranted about liberals and other things, truthfully the less I watched…I do not consider myself a “liberal” and hadn’t been but these past eight years have changed my mind. Now that you are gone, I really don’t have much interest to watch the program anymore. God bless and Best wishes to you in your present and future endeavors. I hope we’ll be seeing you again!!!!!! Believe me, you’ll be missed tremendously.
January 12th, 2009 at 7:33 am
Alan,
I’m writing from Australia. I love your radio show, which I download daily as a podcast, and I love your work! I love the way you seek the truth on issues, and you challenge the conventional right wing conservative positions. You are a wonderful interviewer, and I will miss you from the H&C show. The world needs people like you top maintain balance, and you will be sorely missed.
I just hope and pray that you will continue to do radio, and that the podcasts will continue to be made available to people like me on the otherside of the world who want to see the good and decent and funny and humane side of American culture!
Cheers, Alan. You are a wonderful human being and I applaud you!!!
Terry.
January 12th, 2009 at 8:07 am
WILL the Rev Al Sharpton (spirt-led) Pie Bachmann -in-the-Face OR Hanratty tonight?
9PM ET. Faux News.
I say Bachmann.
Don’t forget your drinking game. Final Version #4.
Take a drink every time Michele Bachmann
-Lies
-Leers at camera while smiling insanely
-Interrupts anyone
Drink up if Bachmann says:
-she is a foster mother of 26
-she is a federal tax litigation attorney
-Journalists need to investigate Congress Commies
-She never said the above
-She mentions husband Marcus the de-Gayer
-is focused like a laser beam
-Chris Matthews put words in her mouth
January 12th, 2009 at 4:59 pm