I’ve Decided To Become A Conservative
After much torturous thought, after years of struggle with my true inner core, and after seeing the direction this country is headed with liberals in power, I have had a dark night of the soul. We have a president who is spending spending spending, a Congress which is going along for the ride, and companies being taken over by the government, which is the definition of socialism. I no longer recognize my country. In fact, I fear for her.
Maybe it’s because I walk down the hall and see Beck, Hannity, O’Reilly, et al, and, because I get to actually spend time with them, I have a strong and increasingly sympathetic sense of where they’re coming from. Or maybe it’s because I’ve finally just grown up. It’s time to get back to the core values that made this country great. Can you honestly tell me you have confidence that the nimrods in DC know what the hell they’re doing?
Conservatives have God, guns, families, and the unborn on their side. Liberals have abortionists, atheists, illegals and welfare recipients. Conservatives have words like “liberty” and “freedom,” and phrases like “Jesus loves you.” Liberals have words such as “LSD” and “One World Trade Center,” and phrases like “Don’t harsh my mellow.”
I know what you liberals are thinking: “He works at FOX and was always a shill to begin with. We never trusted that weak excuse for a liberal.” And I know you conservatives are thinking that I’ve finally seen the light. You can’t both be right. Literally.
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