Eugene Delgaudio, the Republican District Supervisor in Sterling, Virginia, has written the motherload of crazy political letters. Delgaudio’s fundraising appeal letter speaks of horrific warehouse petitions, frightening “radical” homosexuals, wedding-gown glad men (gasp), and other terrifying experiences.
Really, Eugene? Seriously? Your letter reads more like a poorly written Edgar Allen Poe nightmare than what you’ve intended.
Excerpts to follow, and be sure to check out the full letter, if you dare. (h/t The Washington Note).
One stormy night I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses. I’d heard something was up and wanted to see for myself. As I rounded the final turn my eyes nearly popped. Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses.
Trembling with worry I went inside. It was worse than I ever imagined. Row after row of boxes bulging with pro-homosexual petitions lined the walls, stacked to the ceiling. My mind reeled as I realized hundreds, maybe thousands, more boxes were already loaded on the tractor-trailers. And still more petitions were flying off the press.
Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, “Delgaudio what are you doing here?” Dozens of men began moving toward me. I’d been recognized. As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, “This time Delgaudio we can’t lose.”
Driving away, my eyes filled with tears as I realized he might be right. This time the Radical Homosexuals could win.
…
Wedding-gown clad men smooching before some left-wing clergy or state official is just the beginning. You’ll see men hand-in-hand skipping down to adoption centers to “pick out” a little boy for themselves…
After choking down this insanity with a few Tums and ginger ale, all I could envision was an author stricken with intense fear caused by either (or both) extreme personal abuse of some kind or paranoid delusions on a grandiose scale. I’ve little in the way of alternate explanations for such offensive, ranting drivel.
