What Conservatives Have Taught Me This Election Season
by James Frye
1. If you are in the minority, claim you’re the majority anyway.
2. When you lose an election, start shouting about not being heard. Bring lots of friends.
3. If a paid Republican operative appears at a Democratic function, we Dems may now have them arrested, punch them, slam them to the ground and step on their heads. They brought it on themselves and it’s all their fault.
3a. “But what about the SEIU?!!”
4. It’s perfectly fine to claim that we should be elected just to see to it that the current president is a one-termer. Problems for the rest of the country will just have to wait.
5. The Bush administration never existed, but if they did, everything bad that happened in it is all the Democrats’ fault.
6. Lack of experience is a good thing if you’re a Republican but bad if you’re President Obama.
7. Actual policies are just for Democrats – vagueness is a virtue if you’re a Republican.
8. There’s no reason to tell the truth when repeating a proven lie gets more votes.
9. You can be as crazy as you want to be because the Democrats are communists.
10. Maintaining tax cuts for the rich and seeing to it that there’s less money going into the Treasury will reduce the deficit.
This, of course, is just a partial list. What did I miss?Click here for reuse options!
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