Professional Hugger Looking To Hire More Snugglers

Out of work? Maybe you can get a job hugging people.

Portland’s professional cuddler is looking to expand her warm and fuzzy empire by adding a brick and mortar location and six full-time snugglers.

“I’m working 80 to 90 hours a week,” cuddling connoisseur Samantha Hess, 29, told the Daily News. “I literally can’t keep up with it. I’m scheduling for Feburary right now.”

Hess, who is releasing a book on the science of touch in February and is in talks on a reality TV series, has already been flooded with inquiries from people who like to nuzzle.

Applicants can anticipate a rather rigorous vetting process from the girl who gets paid by the hour to lay in bed — in a completely pluntonic way.

About Alan

Alan Alan Colmes is the publisher of Liberaland.

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