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All Emmy Acceptance Speeches Should Be Like This

This should be the new model for all future Emmy acceptance speeches. Merritt Wever didn’t think she had a chance, given that she was up against better-known actresses. So, she spoke from the heart, and then left the stage. Wever won the award for her role as Zoey Barkow in the Showtime dark comedy Nurse [...]

Republicans Voting To Defund Obamacare Used It To Balance The Budget

They don’t want to tell you about the savings Obamacare brings. And those savings have been used by Republicans to balance the budget. Rep. Chris Van Hollen of Maryland points out that without the Affordable Care Act, Republicans wouldn’t have voted for a balance budget, balanced with savings the law has generated. “There’s a reason [...]

Man’s Penis Amputated After ‘Enthusiastic’ Viagra Overdose

Men reading this will have a one-word reaction: “Ouch!”  A farmer from the country of Columbia was trying to “please his new girlfriend” which resulted in an erection of several days. By the time he was seen by medical professionals, they noted his penis was inflamed, fractured, and showing signs of gangrene. Local doctors were [...]

WANTED BY NYPD! You, To Update To iOS 7

Forget about “Stop and Frisk.”The New York Police Department is now walking its beat encouraging people to update to Apple’s new operating system.  The iOS update was released just days ago on the new iPhones and on most existing Apple products. Despite some mild grumbling at first, Apple’s iOS7 has garnered mostly positive reviews for [...]

8-Year-Old Accidentally Shot By 11-Year-Old Brother

The two Gary, IN brothers believed they were playing with a toy gun. The incident occurred when the two were visiting a neighbor’s house Thursday afternoon, according to local reports. While the boys were inside the residence, they reportedly found a handgun on a dresser and picked it up to play with, thinking it was [...]

Congressman Kevin Cramer was trying to justify his vote to take food out of the mouths of the poor, the disabled, and the sick. So he posted a Biblical passage on his Facebook page: Thessalonians 3:10 English Standard Version (ESV) 10 For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If [...]

She was witnessing a scuffle between a 70-year-old man and the father of a 14-year-old boy on whom the older man had just urinated. No gun was found. Police responded to the mall, but Tigard Police Department spokesman Jim Wolf said there was never a weapon. A police officer at the scene said the woman, [...]

Jon Gosselin Fires Gun To Warn Of Paparazzo

Nice man. …he tells TMZ it’s within his legal right. Gosselin says the female photog is the one who broke the law by trespassing and repeatedly refusing to leave his private property … which he says gave him the right to bust a cap. “I am licensed to carry a concealed handgun, which I withdrew [...]

Iraq Suicide Bomber Attack Kills 65

It’s a good thing we went in there and fixed things. Wasn’t this going to be the newest democracy in the Middle East that would lead to a domino effect? Guess not. A suicide bomber detonated his explosives-laden car near a funeral tent packed with mourners and another bomber on foot blew himself up nearby [...]

Nazi Invasion: ND Town Braces For Racists

  Needless to say, the citizens of the very small rural town targeted for “settling” by a white supremist and his followers are furious: The tiny town of Leith in North Dakota is bracing itself for a potentially turbulent weekend. Its 24-strong population is set to be overrun by opposing busloads of neo-Nazis attempting to [...]